Croc 10: Fictional characters I wanted to be when I was a kid – Part 1

I really enjoy top 10 lists–they’re easy to read and fun–so I thought I’d try my own. This is part one of two, and was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend awhile ago. Who are your top 10 fictional characters?

10. Edgar from Final Fantasy VI

What’s not to like? He’s a rich playboy with a sweet mechanical castle that can burrow under the earth, and he’s surrounded by women all the time. Even at twelve, I loved and respected Edgar—everyone liked him (although now he reads like a lech). Also, while Celes gets boring Runic and Cyan gets time-consuming sword techniques, Edgar cuts people in half with a chainsaw.

9. Sonic the Hedgehog

There was a period after I played Sonic the Hedgehog for the first time where I became obsessed with speed. I watched Nature on PBS to see the cheetahs and falcons, I practiced running, I schemed about ways to make my body more aerodynamic (like wearing tight clothes when I ran—kids are stupid), and I developed a passionate and short lived obsession with sports cars. I didn’t just like Sonic the Hedgehog, I wanted to be Sonic the Hedgehog—I wanted to feel that speed, so I lived vicariously through fast animals and machines. What happened to this childhood obsession? I’m not sure. I guess I just got over it. But still, Sonic rules. And so do cheetahs.

8. Lisa from The Girl Who Owned A City

Sure she’s a girl and I’m a boy, but she’s awesome, and she’s in a world I would’ve loved as a kid. In The Girl Who Owned A City, all the adults have mysteriously died, leaving the children to fend for themselves in a world with no parents, electricity, grocery stores, etc. When I was a kid, I ignored the inherent horror in this situation and just focused on all the cool stuff I would do—I’d break all the windows in town, I’d drive cars, I’d dance naked in the street, I’d light things on fire. As a kid, that idea of freedom was intoxicating. Now when I read the book it’s terrifying.

7. Tim from Jurassic Park

Tim was a whiner. If I were Tim, I would man up and kick it with some dinosaurs. Like in the scene where they hide from the Gallimimus, I would’ve jumped out from under that log and wrestled one of those crazy dinos to the ground, then ridden it like a steed. Seriously, he was a kid who got to hang out with dinosaurs, and he just cried and complained the whole time. What a loser.

6. Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Sure the turtles were cool, but Splinter was the ultimate badass, the guy who taught Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo everything. He was a rat (and rats are cool) who fought with a stick, and he was centered, unlike those stupid turtles, who were always turning to him for advice or to solve their stupid arguments (I’m looking at you, Raphael).

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~ by Ian D. on April 23, 2008.

One Response to “Croc 10: Fictional characters I wanted to be when I was a kid – Part 1”

  1. I always fancied Locke, if I were to take someone’s place.

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